15. The Coward Howard Lee
  • Play The Coward Howard Lee




back in 1843

there was a cowboy named Howard Lee

who was known to everyone

to act quite especially cowardly


one brisk day

quite brisk for the south

he had a few too many drinks

started runnin his mouth


on this same day I walked into a cantina

asked for a whiskey on the rocks

Howard Lee turned right towards me

started poking fun at my red socks


I in turn turned towards him to tell him

“they were a gift from the misses”

“and if you keep on talking

“you’ll join your wet friends the fishes”


Lee seemed to not like this

almost as much as I disliked him

and almost on a whim I thought

I ought to brace myself for a flying limb


and whatdo you know

I knew Lee’d throw his fist

miss and fall down on the ground

with a sound like a floppin fish


but Lee got up real fast

faster than a man could blink

but he had his back towards me

told the bartender,”I need another drink”


“oh what a drunken fool” I said to myself in a real hush

and Lee turned around sober as a judge so fast

you’d think he’s a prospector

and I was a gold rush

and right then and there I knew

The coward Howard Lee

seemed to have been scheming

a plan most cowardly


before I knew it

I had a sharp pain in my side

it seemed my life was ending

in such vain and so little pride


I heard the angel’s voices

like trumpets in the sky

I saw the lights on top of their head

I heard their hue and cry


they said “oh cullah don’t you fret

it aint time to say goodbye

we aint here for you

were here for that other guy”



*not finished*

slowly the world I had just left

started coming back to me

everything became clear

the moment I saw howard lee was near


I got up off the floorboards

wiped the blood from my brow

tapped howard lee on his shoulder

and asked him “how strong you feelin now?”


I cut up into his face

with a punch backed by angel grace

the coward howard lee

was the

oh you coward howard lee

don’t you know you to never mess with me

Song Notes

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