A Trying Shame

how does it feel?
does it hurt
when you try

how does it feel?
is it a rush
when you try

when you try to love
when you try to love
when you try to love

when you try to love
it’s like you die a little
but not in a way that’s selfish and vain
but that’s sacrificial

that’s reciprical and mystical and visceral
you get what i’m getting at?

i wanna love continuously
and not so strenuously
how can i love one love
when there’s so many people loving back
so many ways i could react
so many days i think i should in fact
become bohemian like lizst
or james brown
or nikola tesla
or anyone else that one should aim to be
in this day and age

when you try to love
you cut yourself
in two